


Here's safe, here's warm (Here the daisies guard you from every harm)

by ArthursKnight



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Suicide, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:36:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthursKnight/pseuds/ArthursKnight
Summary: Jack sends a concerning message to Mac, who decides to check on the person he loves most. Angst and cuddling ensue
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 42





	Here's safe, here's warm (Here the daisies guard you from every harm)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
So, a few warnings here.  
I wrote this on a whim while I wasn't feeling well. I know it's not my best piece, but I just wanted to share it.  
All mistakes are mine, and I'll try to fix them if I see any. English is not my first language, but I try!
> 
> There are mentions of a suicide attempt but nothing graphic, except for a bit of violence related to the PTSD attack.
> 
> I guess I am new to the fandom and just wanted to jump on the fic wagon. So, enjoy!
> 
> Title comes from "Rue's Lullaby" from the Hunger Games

Mac’s phone vibrated in his pocket.

He almost didn’t hear it, engrossed in the conversation he was having with Bozer and Matty, their laughter filling the air as they talked of past missions.

Riley sat next to the fire as she drank a beer, listening to them with a smile on her face and interjecting from time to time.

They were close to midnight, sitting in the patio and eating their dinner.

The whole family had come for New Year’s Eve, except for Jack, who had told them he couldn’t make it. He had no idea why, but Mac felt like he shouldn’t press it. And he didn’t. It had been a mistake on his part, he knew, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to call his partner.

Looking at his phone with an annoyed expression, Mac expected it to be from some friend wishing him a happy new year.

It wasn’t.

It was Jack’s.

Mac’s heart fluttered for a moment, as always when his partner was involved. Love spread in his chest, the disappointment lifting from him all at once. He tried to keep his feelings at bay as his eyes fell on the message.

A simple, uncharacteristic “I’m sorry, Angus.”

Mac frowned, a bad feeling spreading in his gut. He excused himself from the group, their eyes following him as he hid in the dark house.

What was this about? He thought about it for a moment, trying to find a likely reason.

Jack had done nothing to him, and their last mission went strangely smooth.

Was he sorry for not being able to come over?

Possible, but Mac was certain it wasn’t it.

He had an idea, but pushed it back in the depths of his mind, not willing to think about that.

“Sorry for what?”, he typed as fast as he could.

Five minutes, no answer. Mac shifted his weight from one foot to the other, biting his lower lip.

The phone burned in his hands as he sent another message: “Jack?”

Receiving no answers from his partner, Mac called him.

Once, twice. He tried a third time, but the call went straight to voicemail.

Panic settled in his head, making it hard to think. That wasn’t normal. Jack always, _always_, picked up the phone when he called.

His heartbeat went faster and faster as he thought of a solution, but he found only one. He had to go to Jack’s place and ask.

As Mac walked back to his friends, he was scared his knees may give out. His hand trembled as he put away the phone, trying to not let anything slip.

“Hey, uh, I need to take care of something. I’ll be back as soon as possible.” His voice was strangely calm, opposed to the storm going on in his head.

“What?” Bozer’s eyebrows shot up. “It’s New Year’s Eve, man! What do you have to do?”

“Yeah,” Matty interceded, “What’s going on, blondie?”

His boss had understood something was wrong, it was clear as a sunny day.

Riley looked from him to Matty, frowning. 

“Mac?”

Mac looked at all of them before sputtering “I know, I know. But it’s something I need to take care of.” He shrugged, making a small smile that probably didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be back.”

Picking his jacket as he almost ran to the car, Mac jumped in it. His fingers were numb as he started it.

There was only a reason for that text, something he had feared would happen sooner rather than later. It left his mouth dry as tears formed in his eyes. It couldn’t be. Jack was the stronger person he had ever met, he couldn’t really think to do _that._

Driving as fast as he could, skipping red lights, Mac was in front of Jack’s apartment in no time.

Fireworks were being shot all around, loud as gunshots. It reminded Mac of the Sandbox, and he wondered if that’s what Jack was thinking too. Had the damn things brought him back to darker places?

Mac bolted up the stairs, using his own key to open the door. He was shaking so much the keys fell on the floor, and when he finally managed to open the damn thing, he didn’t bother to close it behind him.

The place was so dark he couldn’t watch his step, so he searched for the switch and used the light as a guide.

Apart from the sounds coming from outside, the apartment was completely silent. That scared Mac more than anything, terrified him even. He had gotten here too late.

He scanned every room searching for Jack, until the bedroom remained the last place to look. Fearing what he may see, Mac gulped. His hand grabbed the handle, and then he was inside.

His heart jumped a beat as he heard muffled sobs coming from behind the bed.

All he could see was the back of Jack’s head, so Mac walked slowly towards him to avoid scaring him.

Jack was sitting on the ground, mumbling something that seemed a lot like “Stop. Please stop.” 

His eyes were red, shimmering with tears, and they were emptier than Mac had ever seen.

“Jack?” He murmured as he knelt next to his friend. “Jack, talk to me.”

Jack shook his head and growled, hardening the grip on the gun he was holding, his knuckles turning white. 

“Jack, please,” Mac knelt in front of him. “Give me the gun.”

As an answer, Jack let go of the gun and jumped on him. His hands tightened around Mac’s throat and made him fall backward.

The air kicked out of him, Mac looked around to find something that might help him.

Jack’s eyes shined with rage as he snarled, and yet they didn’t see him. Jack was clearly somewhere else, and Mac needed to bring him back.

“Jack! Jack, it’s Mac!” He coughed, grabbing Jack’s shirt. “Jack!” With all the force he could muster, Mac rolled them over. Now on top of his friend, Mac struggled to free himself, and Jack hit his head on the floor.

“C’mon Jack, it’s Mac.”

Jack blinked a few times, his expression softening. 

“Mac?” 

“Yeah…”

Jack’s arms went limp at his sides, a tear rolling down his face.

“My god, Mac. I’m so sorry…” He covered his face with his hands. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, easy,” Mac rolled on his side and hugged his friend, keeping him close to his chest. Automatically, he rubbed his back with soothing circles. “There is nothing to be sorry about.”

“The fuck do you mean, there’s nothing to be sorry about? I almost killed you!” Jack screamed, trying to wriggle himself free. 

Mac tightened his grip.

“But you didn’t. And I knew you wouldn’t.”

Jack opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, shaking his head.

“Why are ye here, Mac?” Jack’s hoarse voice hit Mac like a punch. “I thought you were having a party at your place.”

“I’m here to save your ass, you idiot.” Mac blinked away tears as he got closer to Jack, grabbing his arms. “I knew something was off.”

“There’s nothing to save, Mac.”

“You’re an idiot, Jack. To me, there’s everything to save.” Mac gulped, already regretting what he was going to say. “I love you, Jack. If you killed yourself, I… I don’t think I could live without you.”

“You- what?” Jack’s head shot up, his eyes wide.

“I love you, okay?” Mac sighed, looking away. “I-I know you don’t feel the same thing. But I need you, Jack. I need you.”

“Fuck…” Jack put his hand on Mac’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Mac… I don’t know what to say. Just, I love you too-“

Mac’s mouth widened, but anything he wanted to say was cut short by Jack, who kissed him. A sweet kiss, tentative. Mac answered to it almost instantly, wishing it hadn’t happened in such a situation.

“Jack,” Mac breathed, running a hand through Jack’s short hair.

“Mac.”

“Were you really planning on doing it?” He sniffed, tears running free on his face. “Did you really want to end your life?”

“I… I guess so,” Jack shrugged. “I didn’t think I had any reasons to live left, and then… The damn fireworks. And I went back to the Sandbox, Mac. And all the other places. And I-“

“I know, it’s okay now.” Mac kissed Jack’s forehead. “I just wish you had talked to me before you tried.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” Jack closed his eyes, tightening the grip on Mac, hiding his face in Mac’s shirt.

“Jesus, Jack.” Mac sobbed. “You’d never bother me. Never. I love you.”

“I know. And I love you too, hoss. Dammit.”

They stayed on the floor for a while, just hearing each other’s breath. To Mac, that was the sweetest sound he ever heard. He thought he would find Jack with a bullet in his head, but he was _alive,_ and it was all that mattered.

“Mac?”

“Yes?”

“Maybe we should move.”

“Uhmm.” Mac agreed, helping Jack to sit.

There were dark circles under Jack’s eyes, and he bet Jack hadn’t slept in a while.

“Maybe you should sleep a bit.”

“Will you stay?” The look in Jack’s eyes was hopeful and yet there was something behind it, as if Jack didn’t expect Mac to say yes.

“Of course I will. I’m not leaving you alone.” They got up, still holding each other, and they stumbled to the bed.

The fireworks kept going, but they were less annoying than before. Mac hoped that, once asleep, they wouldn’t wake Jack.

Jack sat on the bed, rubbing his eyes.

“Do you want to sleep with me in the bed?”

“If you want to,” Mac smiled. 

“Then get here.”

They didn’t bother to change into more comfortable clothes, Mac just getting out of his shoes.

Silently, they went under the covers and hugged each other.

“Go to sleep, Jack,” Mac whispered in his ear and kissed his temple. “It’s safe, I’m here.”

Soon, both of them fell asleep in the warmth of the covers, still cuddling.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? If you liked it, please leave a comment!


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